I wanted to create a blog to have an outlet to tell stories and share some knowledge about a few topics I have some smarts about. (Obviously writing is not one of those so just bare with me!) I will have typos and I will use big words to sound more intelligent but most likely will use them incorrectly. I'm known for my potty-mouth and I can assure you every post will have some profanity in it. (Cause why the fuck not 'eh?) Without further ado let's get right into it!
Copper - The Super Awkward Derpy Dog
Let me start of by telling you I have a German Shepard - Basset Hound mutt named Copper. I adopted him when he was three and we've been inseparable ever since. For a while I also had an all white cat named Barbra Streisand.
Copper didn't understand the difference between cat toys and dog toys. He just assumed anything in the toy box was all for him. He would lay on his back with a toy mouse in his paws and play with it. Or he would throw it in the air and then roll over the mouse when it landed. Barbra Streisand also had this rainbow rope on a stick. You know you hold the stick and swing the rope around and the cat goes crazy and baps at it in the air. I would also play with the rope with Copper because he would get jelly when I'd play with the cat.Well one day that toy goes missing. I just assumed I'd misplaced it somewhere. Copper also had SUPER BAD gas. It was to the point where I would have to leave the room he was so stinky! This had been going on for like two days and I couldn't figure out why the hell he was so damn gassy. I feed him people food so I thought maybe I'd given him something I wasn't supposed to.
It was the first of the month and I needed to pay rent, (and get out of the farty apartment.) I walked Copper to the dog park and unleashed him. He started sniffing out a spot and I figured while he was distracted, I'd run my rent check to the drop-box. Copper squatted so I left and walked my check over.
I got back to the park and he was still squatting and his eyes said "MOMMY HALP!"
I walked around him to see a couple of inches of poop-covered rainbow rope hanging out of his butt-hole. His eyes were bugged out and he was staring at me. I sighed as I put a poop bag over my hand. I held his tail with my other hand and said, "It's a good thing I love you," as I began to pull this VERY LONG rope out of my dog's ass. It was stripped, so as I pulled various rainbows kept coming out of him like a magician that pulls rainbow scarves from his sleeve. When the two feet of rope was finally out, he ran a few cheerful laps around the dog park while I bagged up the shitty rope.
So that's just a taste of what my blog is all about! Leave me a comment about anything you've had to pull out of your pet's ass so we can sympathize with each other.
Have a happy rainbow-y day!
No comments:
Post a Comment